The question, “Should I do a first look at my wedding?” is something I hear over and over again from my clients. The short answer is that there is no right or wrong decision. I can tell you what I have found works best from my experience but ultimately it is your day and your decision. If you prefer video format you can explore this topic on my TikTok page here.
What is a first look? A first look is when the couple getting married sees each other before the ceremony. I can’t speak for other photographers but I try to find a location that is as secluded as possible so that (other than your visual team) it’s just you and your significant other without distractions. You get to take in each other’s beauty, their outfit, their smile, share a laugh, a kiss, a hug, and you get to be excited together and share this private, emotionally charged moment before the day really begins.
It’s no secret that I love first looks: If you think about it, during your ceremony, you will be standing together but in front of everyone you know and love. A first look really gives you a chance to focus solely on your fiancé. During the ceremony there is so much more going on and so much more to take in. The emotions that run through my couples at a first look are not the same as seeing each other walking down the aisle. One is taking each other in privately. It’s having a quiet moment before the party and excitement of your guests. A wedding day moves so quickly and a first look provides our couples some time to just slow down and be in the moment with each other without distractions. The ceremony is when you see each other knowing that this is the moment you will be married. You share this moment as a large group. You are along side everyone you know and love who are there to see you get married and to support you. Couples that cry at a first look also cry when you walk down the aisle. I think it’s because these two moments (while both highly charged emotionally) are very different.
First looks are special and they provide us with portrait time: While first looks are so incredibly special to me because of the raw, beautiful chemistry between two people privately, I also love first looks because they open the door for us to have enough time for portraits. In general the main events in a wedding are prep, ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. If you do a first look, portraits of the couple as well as wedding party photos can all be done pre-ceremony. Then, during cocktail hour we typically do the family formals. If you have a short family formals list, you can spend the rest of your cocktail hour doing what you want. You can choose to go to cocktail hour, spend a little time alone together, you can freshen up with hair and makeup touch ups, have a snack, or just rest for a bit. Some of my clients choose to also front load their family formals pre-ceremony so that they can spend the entire cocktail hour mingling with their guests.
Giving it to you real: Whatever it is that you want to do, a first look opens that door so that you have the flexibility of time to front load as much or as little as you want thus freeing up your cocktail hour for your enjoyment. Without a first look, cocktail hour is insanely rushed, it’s stressful on my couples and truly (unless you extend your cocktail hour or scheduling a photo shoot after your wedding) your portraits all end up being severely cut short. I spend a full hour with my couples alone on the wedding day, I also spend thirty minutes to an hour with the wedding party (depending on size), and thirty minutes to an hour or so on family formals (depending on how many groups you have). So on the short side you are looking at two hours of photos that all would be mashed into a one hour cocktail hour. This is clearly not possible so the result is a rushed, stressful on my couples and severely shortened amount of time for these photos.
If you want to get to the nitty gritty, it’s actually less than an hour of cocktail hour that we have for all of these photos. From end of the ceremony recessional to me physically getting to you and us getting to the first portrait location to shoot can easily take five to ten minutes. Additionally, you will need to line up to enter the reception five to ten minutes before your reception begins. So in reality, it’s not a full hour we are working with. In reality we are trying to mash all of those portraits (one hour of the couple alone, thirty minutes to an hour of the wedding party, and thirty minutes to an hour or so of family formals) into a forty or fifty minute block of time during cocktail hour.
An exception to the rule: If my client extends cocktails to have a two hour cocktail hour or they have a large gap in between the end of ceremony and beginning of cocktail hour, then no first look is needed. We can do a first look for the beautiful images and emotional photos it produces but it isn’t needed for time sake. In this situation we can go either way with it and you will have a relaxing day.
So there you have it. It’s what I experience over and over again. I have been shooting weddings for more than ten years and the path you choose (first look or not) takes us down one rabbit hole or the other. It is important to me to always be honest to my clients and to tell them the positives and negatives from my experience, that way they can make an informed decision. I am always on your team and I am here to support you in whatever adventure you want to go on.
The First Look is something I wish our wedding photographer explained to me when I was getting married and that is why I go into so much detail to explain it to you. I want you to have the very best wedding photography and knowing the pros and cons will help you to make the best decision for you.
